This week my plan had me running 20 miles for the first time. I was really anxious about the run because I was sick with a cold, had not trained for over a week, had not been eating well and had not been getting enought sleep. All good reasons to be worried.
I was also excited to run 20 miles and launch myself into the final month of training before the marathon.
When we started running, I knew i was in trouble and I really really struggled for the firt 1.5 hours of the run. I couldn't breathe, I was coughing and blowing my nose, my legs felt dead and I was cursing myself the entire time for getting sick and not training properly.
Then I came good and my head cleared and I felt really strong for about another hour and a half. as we approached the third part of the run, I lost all energy. Almost instantly. I lost the group. I just couldn't keep up and then I ran around by myself for another couple of miles trying to stay close to the group but I just couldn't keep up. I turned around and walked/jogged home. Mostly walked because my jogging was slower than my walking. I was really beating myself up and upset that I had not succeeded in finishing the run. It was the first time that I hadn't completed a training run and it was the first time that I had experienced a total inability to push through what i was experiencing mentally.
It was a long and lonely walk back to the car (about 45 mins) and during the walk I kept thinking about this project and my training and what I wanted to create.
Ofcourse i couldn't run 20 miles, i had a cold and i wasn't prepared. that makes perfect sense. If i make sure i am health and well prepared and did my training then I would be able to run this.
The set-back has really allowed me to focus in on what i need to do and the energy that I need to create around me for the next four weeks. Eventhough i have done the training, completing this run is not a done deal. I really need to set myself up to succeed. Training, sleep, diet, positive attitude and learn to rely better on the support I have around me.
I want Michelle to experience the love and support that I feel for her and I her to understand the gift that she has given me by making me feel like I could do this.
If you can, please help me support Michelle in her journey by contributing to her treatment expenses.
Thanks, rebel
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